Anna Nicole Smith: 6 Degrees of Separation via All My Children

If "15 minutes of fame" is a phrase worthy of inclusion in a 20th century time capsule, "6 degrees of separation" gets my vote for the 21st. Who would have thought that there was a connection between the late Anna Nicole Smith,
and John James, All My Children's sexy doctor Jeff Martin.

This morning on Fox News Mr. James was reminiscing about how much fun he had working with Ms. Smith. He was clearly saddened by her death and the tragedies she suffered shortly before.

Mr. James is an executive producer and co-star of Ms. Smith's in her final film Illegal Aliens.
Windows Media Format [running time 2mins 19secs]: Trailer Illegal Aliens
[source: IMDB]

That Satin Doll

Time for me to play detective again. Hey if the soap scripters insist on having murder plots on the front burner storylines i can't resist. Those who've been following All My Children's Satin Slayer storyline know that Simone, Erin, and Dixie have been poisoned. Danielle was one of his victims, but luckily was rescued before the drug took fatal effect. Babe had been the killer's intended latest victim, but Dixie ate the tainted peanut butter banana pancakes that were meant for Babe.

Zoe/Zarf is Pine Valley Police Chief Derrick Frye's prime suspect in the mystery. i don't think Zoe did it. Too obvious. The character said in a recent ep that of course when a stranger comes to town and a serial killer is on the loose, the natural kneejerk inclination is to suspect the town's newest arrival. i agree with Zoe on that point, which is precisely why i don't think Zoe's the one.

my hubby and i were thinking of all the less obvious Pine Valleyites who might be the killer. we agreed a female is a good place to start since everyone in town is presuming the killer is male. hubby'd like the killer to be Bianca. his theory is that because everyone thinks Bianca is so beloved and sweet that it would be an interesting twist to have it be her. Yes, an interesting choice, but i don't think she's the one either.

i kind of dabbled with the idea that it might be the Chandler housekeeper Winifred's niece Sydney. Remember her from the earlier storyline when she was Colby Chandler's rival. But, i discarded her as the killer primarily because the killer supposedly has a beef with Zach Slater and/or the Cambious family, and she's too young to have had a relationship with Zach or his family.

i wondered if Greenlee may have [off-camera] returned to Pine Valley. But, no, i don't think it's her either. Backtracking a bit, if the killer is a man, i think it's Dell. His sister Dixie's murder was accidental, and he's been known to not be the most law abiding, so if it turns out to be a man he's my pick.

my suspect is Annie. i can't explain why, i just have a feeling. i like the character, and i hope i'm wrong but i think it's her.



2~8~07 Update on sookie's theory on Satin Slayer Suspect: How could i have made such a glaring error?! The Satin Slayer is not Annie, it's Janet ['from another planet'] Green Dillon.


Wonderful Robin Mattson, who portrayed Janet [in 1994] is currently working on As The World Turns, but her role there is short term, so it's possible that she could return to the Pine Valley set. [Janet fans that's your cue to start petitioning the powers that be to bring her back].

OMG! i cannot believe my timing...only hours after i posted the preceeding paragraph, All My Children's teaser for the ep for Friday February 9, 2007 has a clip of our beautiful bonkers Janet. But in my initial zeal to share the good news, i miscredited the actress who will currently portray her. Too much/not enough coffee for me?[shrug]. Janet's current and original portrayer [1985] is another fan favorite, the luminous Kate Collins. AMC fans will get their wish, Janet is returning.
Hooray!



[my hiccup not withstanding] this can only mean i'm about to hit a bullseye with my Satin Slayer Suspect theory [say that 3 times fast---i dare you].



[For the uninitiated] Character recap: Janet has been in a mental hospital for several months. When last we saw her [approximately 6 months ago] she was heavily medicated and J.R.Chandler was visiting her. Janet had been assaulting and kidnapping several citizens of Pine Valley. At that time Jonathan Lavery was the prime suspect but was eventually proven innocent. Janet had also murdered her husband Trevor Dillon, and kidnapped Babe and her son Adam Chandler III aka 'lil A. She was about to give Babe the coup de gras when the police and her near and dear came to the rescue. Janet may be mentally ill, but she also has a very high I.Q., is extremely clever, is a master of disguise, is physically strong, and a master escape artist. So, my revised theory is that Janet has escaped from the mental hospital, and it is she who is the Satin Slayer. Forgive me Annie.

Jacked!

One Life to Live's doctor Spencer Truman is dead. Murdered. The list of Llanview residents who wanted him done in is varied and long...so whodunnit?

Immediate circumstantial evidence all points to Rex Balsom. When LVPD commissioner Bo Buchanan and his right hand man detective Antonio Vega arrived at the crime scene, Rex is seen holding a pair of bloodstained scissors in his bare hand, standing over the doc's body. At the crime scene, Rex is questioned briefly [without benefit of legal council] and he is fingerprinted. That not withstanding Rex has not been told he is under arrest and to my recollection he was not mirandized. Even so i don't think it's a good idea to talk to the cops without a lawyer when you've been found over a dead body. Also Rex is a licensed PI, so why would he touch anything at a crime scene before the police arrived?

Prior to being bumped off, the menacing doctor murdered his attorney, drugged the guard who had been stationed outside his hospital room, and made his way to the hospital room where the object of his obsession, Blair Kramer was recuperating. Then he proceeded to drug Blair, and was about to sexually assault her, when he was stabbed multiple times with a scissors.

Visitors to this site know i like to theorize about characters doing what and why. So here's my theory as to which denizen of Llanview done the deed. Jack Manning. 'But he's just a little boy' i hear some of you saying. Yeah, a little boy who felt betrayed by doctor Truman. Publicly stated he hated him and wished him dead. The latex gloved silhouetted hand of the murderer was small, too small to be a man's or by my reckoning a woman's. Also even though his dad had already tucked him in for the night, he could have snuck out of the penthouse [something he and his sister Star have been known to do via the service entrance] to see his mother. Walking in and seeing his mother about to be assaulted by someone he hates---motive. He's at the hospital: scissors would be available---means. His mother's assailant was kneeling on a bed: that negates the height advantage an adult would have over a child---opportunity. Also if Rex witnessed the murder, it would be a natural inclination for him to want to protect Jack. He would not feel that he was endangering himself, since ultimately the evidence against him while strong is circumstantial.

That's my theory and i'm sticking to it. i'm going to miss doctor Truman though. Even though he was a monster, he was very easy on the eyes.